Hello Bloglins (people on Twitter call the people who follow them Tweeps... so I've gone for a blogging alternative... don't worry, it won't catch on!)... So I'm in the Citadel of Hue... the 14 hour bus journey was fine (see previous picture), slept well and it flew by... off to the DMZ (DeMilitarised Zone... where much of the front of the Vietnam war was... annoyingly refered to as DeeMZee... I'm trying to promote the use of DeeMZed) there is little else to report but I have somethings I forgot to mention last time... I even made a list... I'll write the list here and then you can see me turn what seems like random phrases into blogging gold... so, to the list:
*Dog/Toiletries
*Jimmy
*USA bomb Laos
*Simon trudging up with the drinking funnel and pipe
*Girls bitching about the tour guide and then seen snogging him
*"Yer man dere"
*Self cupping
... and now for the magic which comes from the pink squishy ball I refer to as a brain... So as I said, the Halong bay tour was pretty messy... a booze festival if you will... it was awash with drinking games and a light dusting of peer pressure... we had a guide for the first day and then two more for the beach day... Our guide for both days was Simon, a somewhat weather beaten Englishman... he looked a bit like Heston Blumetal after 5 years in a POW camp (constant drinking will do that to a man... part of me dreads the thought of him reading such a blunt description... but as he enjoyed saying when ever trying to tempt people into some drinking messyness... "You're never going to see these people again"!)... He wasn't a bad guy but I feel immense pity for his liver... it's probably unrecognisable after constant drinking to the point where all other livers take it for a homeless tramp, trying to find shelter in a broken trenchcoat under the pancreas from the constant flooding of booze into his system... to Simon's credit, he did get things going and everything had a positive feeling, we all know how drink can turn things sour... everyday he drunk tonnes and is (allegidly) seen with another girl (instead of elaborating on it, at this point please refer to point 5 of the list above... the 'snogging' might not be accurate... canoodeling might be better)... he kept saying how he loved his job... boozing everyday with beautiful young western people... but yesterday as I left I saw him trudging up to the hostel bar... I'd not been to one of the hostel's pub crawls... but as I saw him trudge upto the rooftop bar with a funnel and a pipe for (I'd assume) rapid consumption of liquid, I thought to myself, 'thank Christ that's not my job!'...
... on the subject of booze, there was an Irish fellow on the trip to Halong bay (other then David, the Irish guy who is infact with me here in Hue)... I can't remember his real name but he referred to everyone as Jimmy... so we did the same for him... Jimmy was a real boozer... red faced and spoke so fast and Irishly I struggled to follow him... I never saw that las without a beer... for Breakfast, lunch and dinner, without fail a can of Tiger beer... he bought his own Vodka on the tour (he wasn't the only one) and he had it in a water bottle... one guy was very thursty and took a pull from the bottle, he was surprised... a Vietnamese guy who worked on the boat took a swig... he then immediatly ran and threw up over the side... no one can match Jimmy! ... because I've been spending alot of time with David the Irish fella, I've picked up the (probably annoying) habbit of learning and aquiring some Irishisms... my favorite of which is, 'Yer man dere' which basically refers to anyone... ... (I'm now finding it difficult to fit all these points in in a seemless manner... oh well, I'll carry on regardless (who did that song?)) ... ... When I was returning to my bed after the night drinking on the beach I saw one of the beach puppies (young dog... that is not a euphamism of any sort) running around me playfully with a tube of toothpaste in his mouth... 'What a little scally way' I thought (and probably said, due to the booze) to myself... the beach island had two young boy puppies who were cool and playful... they were thick a thieves and so cool... but the next morning when I went to clean my teeth I noticed that the little bastered (as you can see, my affection for the dogs instantly waned) had stolen not only my toothpaste, but also my toothbrush and my antiseptic cream... the little begger! ... ... (Ok so what's left? Bombing and Cupping... hummm...) ... ... I forgot to mention that in Laos I learnt a bit about the USA and Laos involvment in all that war crap back a few decades ago... it's well documented, so you can read it yourself... but apparently the USA dropped more bombs on Laos then Germany and Japan combined... that's quite a fact... maybe they didn't drop that many in WW2... but still, it's a striking fact... ... and now to self cupping... ... I kind of wish I'd just let this sleeping dog lie instead of trying to be funny... oh well, apoligies in advance for my crudeness... basically, it's a bit terrifying crossing the street in Vietnam... hundreds of bikes surge across the road and the trick to crossing is just go for it, keep vigulent, but keep a slow and steady pace, don't hesitate... it's so scary sometimes I almost feel compelled to self-cup like a man getting into a hot bath... protect the vitals and hope for the best... ... but with the grace of God I'm find and dandy... ... ... ... Vietnam is growing on me everyday but the learning curve isn't so smooth.... it's kind of like getting into a hot bath... you'll enjoy it once you're immersed... but descend into the water with caution... :)
So there we are... the list is complete:) ... I need to go now because the internet cafe is full of loud little kids who are doing my nut in... I'm off back to the hostel to get a free cup of tea and read Silverthorn by Feist... ... Love to your mother (and especially my mother)... Matt:)
P.S. Sorry for my occasional crudeness... sometimes I just can't help myself!
No comments:
Post a Comment