Thursday, 11 November 2010
Koh Chang is seeping into my blood:)
... Well I've been on this island of Koh Change for... well I don't know how long, but as time has passed I've slowly embraced the warm cocoon of life on the island. You arrive looking at the dogs sleeping like stones in the road, not flinching as scooters veer past carrying the uncomfortable look of a westerner who doesn't really know what they're doing... you're amazed by the lethargy and the slow pace... but it slowly welds into your own thinking and you live the life of a tired cat or dog... a life punctuated by sleeping and eating only to come alive as the sun receeds and the thud of some god-awful dance music creeps into the air from the location of which ever bar has decided to do a party-come-drink-offer-come-free-bbq... I lost track of the days as I began to impliment a siesta into my daily routine... my days read like the diary of a school kid, produced under duress for some assignment... wake up, breakfast in the bar of a thousand wooden phalluses (ok, already not that school-ish in content), read, lunch, sleep, dinner, drink, bed... a basic routine but undeniably true... when you do take some excursion (see the picture of my visit to a waterfall yesterday... my chest is so white you could project a film on it) you need the next day to be extra lazy just to recover...
... OK, my first digression... a man has just entered the internet cafe and unscrewed a bottle of whisky from 7-11... it's only 3pm!
... little details of life here become big... you soon begin to feel (relatively) local... you see the prices for rooms rise as they crank up to the high season... you see the lobsters develop on the beach side-by-side with those fortuante enough to turn brown... you see the ladyboy sitting on the balcony of her bar winking at the men going passed (whisky man just answered the phone... he clearly has no confidence in the microphone of his phone)...
... even the ants in my shower room fascinate me... they live in the heating unit... ever time I have a hot shower they escape and run to the hills (as I write that, Iron Maiden singing the line is unavoidable... it is like the voice in my head cannot say the term 'run to the hills', but instead invites Bruce Dickenson in to sing it for me acopella... as an aside, Bruce Dickenson is a commercial pilot, he actually flew Liverpool to a recent Europa League game)... I finish my shower and they return home... cursing and checking their insurance policies like some unfortunate peoples living on some flood plane in Gloustershire (not exactly topical, I admit)
... ... ... In short, I'm enjoying this vast change of pace but it is time to move soon... we will return to Bangkok on Saturday and Mum and Dad leave on Tuesday... then I will plan my assult of Cambodia, Laos, and Vietnam and visit Chang Mai on my way to one of those so talked about but so unfamilure destinations...
(now whisky man has a beer drinking thing with him... I'm usually good at guessing nationalities but I cannot place these guys... they look Russian, speak English like Norwegians but speak a language which floats somewhere between Polish and Portugese in my estimations... what an enigma this piss head is)
... I should probably explain that 'the bar of a thousand phalluses is just a really nice bar but which has lots and lots of wooden carved penises of various sizes all over the place... you don't notice them at first but then as I sat opposite my parents I noticed the giant phallic carvings either size of them and the nob-mobile hanging from the ceiling... but my cricky, they do a lovely stir-fry:)
... I feel that this visit may have proved somewhat of a success with my parents... slowly the comparisons with India receed and they begin to enjoy this place for its own merits... it's quite satisfying to see them enjoy things like the elephant trekking and swimming in the ice cool pool below a forest waterfall... (and as I write this, at this vary moment, they stroll past the window of the internet cafe... they're off changing money, I guess my heavy eating habits are eating into their funds (no pun intended)) ... (Whiskey man just farted loudly)
... this post only comes because I've decided to forgo today's nap... (Whiskey man's friend is called Ivan) ... so I'll find a hammock in a bar and read some more of 'Infinite Jest'... ... (another fart from the man only known as W!)... ... ... this posting has been quite an undertaking... I've worked up a sweat despite sitting as close as possible to the fan... 3pm is too early to undergo such intense exercise!
... I really need to finish now... Whiskey man is standing behind me chatting to Ivan, I don't want him to read this... he might lash out in a whiskey-fuelled rage... although I think it's too hot to get angry... let's just let bygones be bygones and settle down on a hammock with an ice cold bottle of Chang beer... anyone fancy joining me?
... OK, my first digression... a man has just entered the internet cafe and unscrewed a bottle of whisky from 7-11... it's only 3pm!
... little details of life here become big... you soon begin to feel (relatively) local... you see the prices for rooms rise as they crank up to the high season... you see the lobsters develop on the beach side-by-side with those fortuante enough to turn brown... you see the ladyboy sitting on the balcony of her bar winking at the men going passed (whisky man just answered the phone... he clearly has no confidence in the microphone of his phone)...
... even the ants in my shower room fascinate me... they live in the heating unit... ever time I have a hot shower they escape and run to the hills (as I write that, Iron Maiden singing the line is unavoidable... it is like the voice in my head cannot say the term 'run to the hills', but instead invites Bruce Dickenson in to sing it for me acopella... as an aside, Bruce Dickenson is a commercial pilot, he actually flew Liverpool to a recent Europa League game)... I finish my shower and they return home... cursing and checking their insurance policies like some unfortunate peoples living on some flood plane in Gloustershire (not exactly topical, I admit)
... ... ... In short, I'm enjoying this vast change of pace but it is time to move soon... we will return to Bangkok on Saturday and Mum and Dad leave on Tuesday... then I will plan my assult of Cambodia, Laos, and Vietnam and visit Chang Mai on my way to one of those so talked about but so unfamilure destinations...
(now whisky man has a beer drinking thing with him... I'm usually good at guessing nationalities but I cannot place these guys... they look Russian, speak English like Norwegians but speak a language which floats somewhere between Polish and Portugese in my estimations... what an enigma this piss head is)
... I should probably explain that 'the bar of a thousand phalluses is just a really nice bar but which has lots and lots of wooden carved penises of various sizes all over the place... you don't notice them at first but then as I sat opposite my parents I noticed the giant phallic carvings either size of them and the nob-mobile hanging from the ceiling... but my cricky, they do a lovely stir-fry:)
... I feel that this visit may have proved somewhat of a success with my parents... slowly the comparisons with India receed and they begin to enjoy this place for its own merits... it's quite satisfying to see them enjoy things like the elephant trekking and swimming in the ice cool pool below a forest waterfall... (and as I write this, at this vary moment, they stroll past the window of the internet cafe... they're off changing money, I guess my heavy eating habits are eating into their funds (no pun intended)) ... (Whiskey man just farted loudly)
... this post only comes because I've decided to forgo today's nap... (Whiskey man's friend is called Ivan) ... so I'll find a hammock in a bar and read some more of 'Infinite Jest'... ... (another fart from the man only known as W!)... ... ... this posting has been quite an undertaking... I've worked up a sweat despite sitting as close as possible to the fan... 3pm is too early to undergo such intense exercise!
... I really need to finish now... Whiskey man is standing behind me chatting to Ivan, I don't want him to read this... he might lash out in a whiskey-fuelled rage... although I think it's too hot to get angry... let's just let bygones be bygones and settle down on a hammock with an ice cold bottle of Chang beer... anyone fancy joining me?
Wednesday, 10 November 2010
Oh, what a spectacle!
Women, please tear your eyes away from the white chested sex-pavilion of a man to enjoy the waterfall in the background:)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Location:Koh Chang
Saturday, 6 November 2010
Well in the words of Staind... 'It's been awhile'
Well here I am again... As always too much has happened and as everyday passes it leaks out of the gap between my ears... I'm sat in a beach front internet cafe on Koh Chang (Elephant Island) in Thailand... the Thai guy next to me is watching the video of 'I do it for you' by Bryan Adams... I finally escaped Bangkok after about 5 days in what eventually seemed to be an almost Caligulaic hostel... I should have guessed it... I'm on the drinking street of Bangkok... the bars literally sell buckets of alcohol... the risk of a nascent sex festival breaking out was high... fair enough to the lucky devils but please show some discretion and be a little bit quiet when you're humping in a room with 20 other people at 4am... The noise woke me up so I went to the toilet... one shower cubical was similarly occupied... ... the room wasn't so bad really and that wasn't a major disturbance really... the 22 beds we set up in like cubicles of two queen size bunk beds... at night a blind could be pulled down to divide the bunks up so it really wasn't that bad... one morning I was up early and so was the guy in the bunk below me... we were quietly trying to sort out things out in the relativly small floor space provided (smaller relative to larger floor spaces)... to make some room for us I decided to lift up the blind between the bunks in our cubical... I slowly pulled the blind up to reveal two guys sleeping in each others arms in the adjacent lower bunk... suddenly the idea of creating more space had back fired and the area felt very small... needless to say, I lowered the blind once more... ... ...
... except for making me feel uncomfortable and maybe a little bit lonesome the hostel was pretty good... (The Thai guy is now watching 'Heaven' by Bryan Adams... what ever will be next? And will he save 'Summer of 69' to last?)... After initially feeling like a lost little squirrel in this big city of booze and sex and ping pong shows I actually began to meet people and have a decent time... We had a halloween party at the hostel organised by some the the hostel flies (those people who just seem to hang around at the hostel... think, the cool kids in 6th form who would all sit around the stereo and laugh loudly (no bitterness intended))... I met an American Italian called Alex and a Yeovillian called Nicki... we had a blast (I clearly spent too much time with Americans!)... ... ... ...
... Oh no, it's happened... I've fizzeled out... my brain never seems to co-operate when I try to write things chronologically... I lost my train of thought and now I'm stranded here waiting for a bus... ... anyway... My parents came to visit... It was great to see them but at first my mind refused to adapt and I feel really shy travelling with them... but after a couple of days we established our travelling equilibrium and all is well... they are now off gallavanting (read: booze, sex and rock and roll) and I can miander around like I love to without frustrating anyone including myself... we went to a big like kind of dock/pier thing today which was really cool called 'Bang Bao' (see my last posted picture)... ... I hope they like it on this lovely little island I visited before... to be honest, I'm feeling the pressure of being the guide, blind leading the blind comes to mind (interestingly, there are a couple of Slovakian guys here... one is blind, the other can't speak English... but once their powers combine they are fine:) ... anyway, I met some girls on the bus from Bangkok here (it seems like such an unusual coincidence that I keep befriending girls)... two Italian girls (Marty and Olly... the later is a German speaking Italian which is weird) and a Polish girl (Kasha)... they've been cool to hang out with although I suffered today because we went to a party on the beach and didn't get back till 3am and I had to meet Mum and Dad at 10am (this morning I had that unmistakable feeling that my stomach wanted to escape through my mouth and my skull was tightening around my skull like a Boa constrictor... I haven't seen the girls today but will catch them later... I gave them a short lesson in the Philosophy of Matthew Ovens while slightly inebriated and it may have caused them to cower in fear or worship me like some Buddha-esk fella (I'm thinking the latter, but I would)
... Within 4 hours of Mum and Dad meeting me in Bangkok a Taxi driver tried to convince me I needed to go to a Thai brothel... it was slightly embarrasing because Mum and Dad were also in the taxi and he enjoyed showing them the same female laiden literature he was using to convince me that it was a good place to diver my attention... ... I didn't go to a Ping pong show in Bangkok but people told me about it... I loved the description, "It was really rather sad", followed by, "They used a dart to burst a moving balloon"... I was happy to experience that vicariously through others...
I had one of those feet massage thing where little fishes eat the dead skin off your feet... A Dutch man came up to me while it was happening and said that there were lots on my feet which meant they were really dirty... thanks! ... but my feet felt wonderful after... the cleanest ever! ... the sensation is weird... kind of like my feet are dissolvable asprin, slowly fizzing apart in the water... you should try it one day (that was weird, I wrote like I was speaking to one person... I just can't figure out who that person is)...
... OK, now I've totally lost the plot of this post... lots of things have dissapeared and become jumbelled... Mum and Dad told me how people have been enjoying this and I think my ego has swelled and I can't produce the goods anymore... I'm like Oasis after Definatly Maybe... never the same again...
Ok, I'm gonna go now... the sun is a little weaker so I can actually survive on the beach without literally melting (not literally)...
Keep well all... I hope you've enjoyed my difficult second album... I'm off to listen to some Bryan Adams;)
P.S. Dad ordered a curry for lunch... they asked, "Do you like it spicey?"... he said 'Yes, of course'... ... ... needless to say, lolling (laughing out loud) ensued as he finally discovered what 'Spicey' means in Thai:)
Keep well all:)
... except for making me feel uncomfortable and maybe a little bit lonesome the hostel was pretty good... (The Thai guy is now watching 'Heaven' by Bryan Adams... what ever will be next? And will he save 'Summer of 69' to last?)... After initially feeling like a lost little squirrel in this big city of booze and sex and ping pong shows I actually began to meet people and have a decent time... We had a halloween party at the hostel organised by some the the hostel flies (those people who just seem to hang around at the hostel... think, the cool kids in 6th form who would all sit around the stereo and laugh loudly (no bitterness intended))... I met an American Italian called Alex and a Yeovillian called Nicki... we had a blast (I clearly spent too much time with Americans!)... ... ... ...
... Oh no, it's happened... I've fizzeled out... my brain never seems to co-operate when I try to write things chronologically... I lost my train of thought and now I'm stranded here waiting for a bus... ... anyway... My parents came to visit... It was great to see them but at first my mind refused to adapt and I feel really shy travelling with them... but after a couple of days we established our travelling equilibrium and all is well... they are now off gallavanting (read: booze, sex and rock and roll) and I can miander around like I love to without frustrating anyone including myself... we went to a big like kind of dock/pier thing today which was really cool called 'Bang Bao' (see my last posted picture)... ... I hope they like it on this lovely little island I visited before... to be honest, I'm feeling the pressure of being the guide, blind leading the blind comes to mind (interestingly, there are a couple of Slovakian guys here... one is blind, the other can't speak English... but once their powers combine they are fine:) ... anyway, I met some girls on the bus from Bangkok here (it seems like such an unusual coincidence that I keep befriending girls)... two Italian girls (Marty and Olly... the later is a German speaking Italian which is weird) and a Polish girl (Kasha)... they've been cool to hang out with although I suffered today because we went to a party on the beach and didn't get back till 3am and I had to meet Mum and Dad at 10am (this morning I had that unmistakable feeling that my stomach wanted to escape through my mouth and my skull was tightening around my skull like a Boa constrictor... I haven't seen the girls today but will catch them later... I gave them a short lesson in the Philosophy of Matthew Ovens while slightly inebriated and it may have caused them to cower in fear or worship me like some Buddha-esk fella (I'm thinking the latter, but I would)
... Within 4 hours of Mum and Dad meeting me in Bangkok a Taxi driver tried to convince me I needed to go to a Thai brothel... it was slightly embarrasing because Mum and Dad were also in the taxi and he enjoyed showing them the same female laiden literature he was using to convince me that it was a good place to diver my attention... ... I didn't go to a Ping pong show in Bangkok but people told me about it... I loved the description, "It was really rather sad", followed by, "They used a dart to burst a moving balloon"... I was happy to experience that vicariously through others...
I had one of those feet massage thing where little fishes eat the dead skin off your feet... A Dutch man came up to me while it was happening and said that there were lots on my feet which meant they were really dirty... thanks! ... but my feet felt wonderful after... the cleanest ever! ... the sensation is weird... kind of like my feet are dissolvable asprin, slowly fizzing apart in the water... you should try it one day (that was weird, I wrote like I was speaking to one person... I just can't figure out who that person is)...
... OK, now I've totally lost the plot of this post... lots of things have dissapeared and become jumbelled... Mum and Dad told me how people have been enjoying this and I think my ego has swelled and I can't produce the goods anymore... I'm like Oasis after Definatly Maybe... never the same again...
Ok, I'm gonna go now... the sun is a little weaker so I can actually survive on the beach without literally melting (not literally)...
Keep well all... I hope you've enjoyed my difficult second album... I'm off to listen to some Bryan Adams;)
P.S. Dad ordered a curry for lunch... they asked, "Do you like it spicey?"... he said 'Yes, of course'... ... ... needless to say, lolling (laughing out loud) ensued as he finally discovered what 'Spicey' means in Thai:)
Keep well all:)
Friday, 5 November 2010
Thursday, 4 November 2010
Showing Mum and Dad Koh Chang
So now I'm on the island of Koh Chang showing my parents Thailand during their two week visit... Looks like I've found something to keep them occupied:)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Location:Koh Chang
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)